Saving sex for marriage is a concept that is often deemed laughable, impractical and weird. Not even just in secular society. Even many Christians believe this idea is outdated and simply not for them. However, my experience and my reading of the Bible has shown that this is simply not true and I would love to share just some of the reasons that I decided to save sex for marriage, and why this was a FANTASTIC decision.
I believe that Christians need to be more open to talking about sex and the decisions that we make about it. We are called to stand apart, to be different and to conduct our relationships differently to what society deems to be “normal”. But we also need to be able to explain this – the decisions we’re making, and why we have made these choices.
God designed sex for marriage
If we believe that God created humans, then we believe that he designed sex. The thing we need to remember however, is that he designed sex for a reason. He created sex as a means for reproduction, and as a way of showing love within a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6 tells us that our bodies are not our own, but are temples of the Holy Spirit. We are told that we must honour God with our bodies, and this means we should follow his plan for sex. If you’re interested in finding out more about what God says about sex in the Bible, let me know and I can totally write more about that.
Sex has huge emotional impact
When a man and wife come together in sex, it is described as two becoming one flesh. As you can imagine, this can have a huge impact upon us emotionally. When we have sex with someone, we are giving them part of ourselves and that is not something that should be taken on lightly. The Bible warns us to guard our hearts, so we must protect ourselves from such impact by only giving this part of ourselves to someone we have promised (in front of God) to spend the rest of our lives with.
It teaches us that sex is not the only form of intimacy
A key thing that saving sex for marriage taught me was that sex is not the only form of intimacy. In a world full of sex and pornography, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that sex is the only way to express our love for each other – that if we don’t have sex, we aren’t showing our love. Taking the time to spend time together, get to know each other and grow closer together outside of sexual intimacy has had great benefits for our marriage as we are not reliant upon sex to demonstrate our love.
Sex isn’t always fun
Something I have learnt since being married is that many, many people, for many different reasons, struggle with sex. Some find it painful, some have medical issues that cause problems, some people simply have lower sex drives. Learning about these struggles outside of a loving, committed relationship can result in embarrassment, confusion and shame. However, within a marriage, a couple can tackle such issues head on, confident in the future of their relationship.
Do you have any questions about saving sex for marriage? If so let me know in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them for you!